CORALINE.
An animated movie in which, Coraline (Dakota Fanning) and her parents (Teri Hatcher and John Hodgman) move to an old house. Coraline feels neglected by her parents and finds a hidden door which she goes through. The door leads to another world where she finds parents who care for her and all her dreams come true, however everyone in the new world has button eyes. The Other Mother offers Coraline the chance to stay in the other world for ever, but she refuses and discovers that the other world is a trap to lure her away.
I actually found this movie a little scary. That doesn't mean that you will but I would not recommend that you watch it, especially if you are like me.
Monday, 11 April 2011
Friday, 8 April 2011
Food on Friday
TRADITIONAL SPAGHETTI SAUCE
Serves 4
2 tablespoons olive oil or butter
1 large onion, finely chopped
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 heaped tablespoon finely chopped fresch rosemary
3 or 4 fresh basil leaves, finely chopped (optional)
6 mushrooms finely chopped
5 skinned chicken giblets finely chopped (optional)
1/2 skinned cacciatore salami , finely choppped (optional)
500 gm rump, round or topside steak finely chopped
2 tablespoons tomato paste
400 g can diced tomatoes
pinch mixed spice
salt and pepper to taste
Heat most of the oil or butter (reserve 2 teaspoons) in a frying pan - preferably not a nonstick pan because you won't get a good browning on the bottom of the pan. Add the onion, garlic, rosemary and basil. Cook on low until the onion is soft and clear abd the bottom of the pan is slightly brown, but take care not to burn.
Meanwhile, soften the mushrooms in the the reserved oil in a seperate frying pan, then set aside.
Add the chicken giblets and salami (if using) and cook until brown. Add the steak, cook until brown. Stir in the tomato paste, tomatoes, spices and mushrooms.
Add just enough boiling water to cover the mixture (about 2 cups/500ml), then partially cover the frying pan. Cook on low heat for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally, until nearly all the water is evaporated.
Serve over spaghetti cooked al dente, with a good sprinkling of freshly grated parmesan cheese.
Serves 4
2 tablespoons olive oil or butter
1 large onion, finely chopped
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 heaped tablespoon finely chopped fresch rosemary
3 or 4 fresh basil leaves, finely chopped (optional)
6 mushrooms finely chopped
5 skinned chicken giblets finely chopped (optional)
1/2 skinned cacciatore salami , finely choppped (optional)
500 gm rump, round or topside steak finely chopped
2 tablespoons tomato paste
400 g can diced tomatoes
pinch mixed spice
salt and pepper to taste
Heat most of the oil or butter (reserve 2 teaspoons) in a frying pan - preferably not a nonstick pan because you won't get a good browning on the bottom of the pan. Add the onion, garlic, rosemary and basil. Cook on low until the onion is soft and clear abd the bottom of the pan is slightly brown, but take care not to burn.
Meanwhile, soften the mushrooms in the the reserved oil in a seperate frying pan, then set aside.
Add the chicken giblets and salami (if using) and cook until brown. Add the steak, cook until brown. Stir in the tomato paste, tomatoes, spices and mushrooms.
Add just enough boiling water to cover the mixture (about 2 cups/500ml), then partially cover the frying pan. Cook on low heat for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally, until nearly all the water is evaporated.
Serve over spaghetti cooked al dente, with a good sprinkling of freshly grated parmesan cheese.
Tuesday, 5 April 2011
Heaven
So I read this post and it made me think of the following song by Tobymac. I know the sentiments are completely different but it got me thinking. We do not think about heaven as much as we should and it will be good to find people they we have lost contact with in heaven, but we also need to think about what kind of example we are setting to our friends who don't know God and the state of their spiritual life.
"In The Air"
I had a dream last night about the other side
And I must confess that it was quite the ride
I had a dream last night and the fact that you weren't there
Gave me quite the scare
People were afloat all around me
Yet their weightless state never seemed to astound me
Everything was grand till I noticed one thing
That you, my friend, weren't on the scene
There in the air
I've been workin' all morning trying to spin my dream
Cause I just can't believe you weren't in my dream
Remember you and I said we would paint the sky
And the leaves on the trees and the stars at night
We made beats and we even wrote rhymes
And played golf, I think, a million times
Now we never got around to spiritual matters
But we sure made time for our mindless chatter
[CHORUS]
I wanna see you there
In the the air
One day we'll be singin' (Hallelujah)
I wanna see you there
In the the air
One day we'll be singin' (Hallelujah)
Hello, wassup (wassup), how ya doin' (just fine)
I was sorta wonderin', could we make the time
(Just kick it) why not (at our usual spot)
Latte's in May, mine cold, yours hot
(So where we goin') much deeper than our usual chat
(Like who's beats is weak and who's beats is phat)
Nah, my man, this some next level junk
(Like when we discussed if Tiger Woods could dunk)
Just meet me there, seven o'clock, rain or shine
With a fat cup of bean and a wide open mind
"In The Air"
I had a dream last night about the other side
And I must confess that it was quite the ride
I had a dream last night and the fact that you weren't there
Gave me quite the scare
People were afloat all around me
Yet their weightless state never seemed to astound me
Everything was grand till I noticed one thing
That you, my friend, weren't on the scene
There in the air
I've been workin' all morning trying to spin my dream
Cause I just can't believe you weren't in my dream
Remember you and I said we would paint the sky
And the leaves on the trees and the stars at night
We made beats and we even wrote rhymes
And played golf, I think, a million times
Now we never got around to spiritual matters
But we sure made time for our mindless chatter
[CHORUS]
I wanna see you there
In the the air
One day we'll be singin' (Hallelujah)
I wanna see you there
In the the air
One day we'll be singin' (Hallelujah)
Hello, wassup (wassup), how ya doin' (just fine)
I was sorta wonderin', could we make the time
(Just kick it) why not (at our usual spot)
Latte's in May, mine cold, yours hot
(So where we goin') much deeper than our usual chat
(Like who's beats is weak and who's beats is phat)
Nah, my man, this some next level junk
(Like when we discussed if Tiger Woods could dunk)
Just meet me there, seven o'clock, rain or shine
With a fat cup of bean and a wide open mind
Monday, 4 April 2011
Monday Movies.
THE YOUNG VICTORIA.
Victoria's (Emily Blunt) mother and her consort, Conroy have tried to dominate her life since childhood, however as a teenager she refuses to let them act as her regent in the last days of her uncle William IV's rule. Her German cousin Albert (Ruper Friend) is encouraged to court her for political reasons, but after her succession to the throne, at age 18, he finds himself falling for her, but does not approve of her reliance on premier Melbourne (Paul Bettany). Victoria is impressed by Albert's philanthropy as she wants to help her subjects. But her loyalty to Melbourne who is a self-seeker, almost causes a crisis of the constitution. Albert is the one who the helps Victoria get back her self-conficence. Victoria proposes to Albert and they marry. He proves that he is not only a devoted husband, who even takes a bullet for his wife, but also an agent of reform.
I really enjoyed this movie, and I would reccomend it to everyone, especially people interested in the History of the UK and the Royal Family.
Victoria's (Emily Blunt) mother and her consort, Conroy have tried to dominate her life since childhood, however as a teenager she refuses to let them act as her regent in the last days of her uncle William IV's rule. Her German cousin Albert (Ruper Friend) is encouraged to court her for political reasons, but after her succession to the throne, at age 18, he finds himself falling for her, but does not approve of her reliance on premier Melbourne (Paul Bettany). Victoria is impressed by Albert's philanthropy as she wants to help her subjects. But her loyalty to Melbourne who is a self-seeker, almost causes a crisis of the constitution. Albert is the one who the helps Victoria get back her self-conficence. Victoria proposes to Albert and they marry. He proves that he is not only a devoted husband, who even takes a bullet for his wife, but also an agent of reform.
I really enjoyed this movie, and I would reccomend it to everyone, especially people interested in the History of the UK and the Royal Family.
Friday, 1 April 2011
Food on Fridays
CHICKEN PEPPERONATA
Serves 4
8 skinless chicken thighs
2 tbsp wholemeal flour
2 tbsp olive oil
1 small onion, sliced thinly
1 garlic clove crushed
1 each large red yellow and green capsicums, sliced thinly
400 g can chopped tomatoes
1 tbsp chopped fresh oregano
salt and pepper
fresh oregano leaves to garnish
1. Remove the skin from the chicken thighs and toss in the flour.
re
2. Heat the oil in a frying pan over a high heat. Add chicken and fry until browned. Remove from the pan. Add the onion and fry until soft. Add the garlic, capsicums, tomatoes and oregano. Bring to the boil stirring.
3. Arrange the chicken over the vegetables. Season well with salt and pepper, then cover the pan tightly and simmer for 20 - 25 minutes, or until the chicken is tender and the juices run clear when a skewer is inserted into the thickest part of the meat.
4. Season to taste then transfer the chicken to a large serving dish, garnish with oregano leaves and serve.
Serves 4
8 skinless chicken thighs
2 tbsp wholemeal flour
2 tbsp olive oil
1 small onion, sliced thinly
1 garlic clove crushed
1 each large red yellow and green capsicums, sliced thinly
400 g can chopped tomatoes
1 tbsp chopped fresh oregano
salt and pepper
fresh oregano leaves to garnish
1. Remove the skin from the chicken thighs and toss in the flour.
re
2. Heat the oil in a frying pan over a high heat. Add chicken and fry until browned. Remove from the pan. Add the onion and fry until soft. Add the garlic, capsicums, tomatoes and oregano. Bring to the boil stirring.
3. Arrange the chicken over the vegetables. Season well with salt and pepper, then cover the pan tightly and simmer for 20 - 25 minutes, or until the chicken is tender and the juices run clear when a skewer is inserted into the thickest part of the meat.
4. Season to taste then transfer the chicken to a large serving dish, garnish with oregano leaves and serve.
Monday, 28 March 2011
Monday Movies.
CHARLIE AND BOOTS
A typical road trip movie, although not that typical as it is not American, but Australian!
Charlie (Paul Hogan) is sitting around the house depressed, and his son 'Boots' (Shane Jacobson) decides to get him out of his misery by taking him on a road trip from Victoria to Cape York, to go fishing. They have many adventures along the way, many of them hilarious.
It was a really enjoyable film and I do reccomend that you see it especially if you are Aussie. It was especially good to see all the Eastern Australian small towns with their small claims to fame. I really think we need more Australian films though.
A typical road trip movie, although not that typical as it is not American, but Australian!
Charlie (Paul Hogan) is sitting around the house depressed, and his son 'Boots' (Shane Jacobson) decides to get him out of his misery by taking him on a road trip from Victoria to Cape York, to go fishing. They have many adventures along the way, many of them hilarious.
It was a really enjoyable film and I do reccomend that you see it especially if you are Aussie. It was especially good to see all the Eastern Australian small towns with their small claims to fame. I really think we need more Australian films though.
Friday, 25 March 2011
Food on Fridays.
BUTTERSCOTCH BROWNIES
Makes 16 squares
1/4 cup butter
1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup plain flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup walnuts and pecans
Preheat oven to 180C. Melt butter in a small saucepan over low heat. Add sugar and stir until dissolved. Remove from heat, cool a little, and beat in the egg and vanilla.
Sift flour, then measure half a cup add baking powder and salt to flour and sift again. Stir butter mixture into flour mixture and mix well.
Chop nuts finely and add to mixture.
Pour batter into 20cm square cake tin. Bake 25 minutes or until a cake tester inserted into the centre of the pan comes out clean.
Leave to cool and cut into 16 squares.
Makes 16 squares
1/4 cup butter
1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup plain flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup walnuts and pecans
Preheat oven to 180C. Melt butter in a small saucepan over low heat. Add sugar and stir until dissolved. Remove from heat, cool a little, and beat in the egg and vanilla.
Sift flour, then measure half a cup add baking powder and salt to flour and sift again. Stir butter mixture into flour mixture and mix well.
Chop nuts finely and add to mixture.
Pour batter into 20cm square cake tin. Bake 25 minutes or until a cake tester inserted into the centre of the pan comes out clean.
Leave to cool and cut into 16 squares.
Monday, 21 March 2011
Monday Movies.
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS
A young Jewish refugee, Shosanna Dreyfus (Melanie Laurent), in Nazi occupied France, witnesses the slaughter of her family by the German officer Hans Landa (Cristoph Waltz). She manages to escape but plots her revenge. A few years later the war hero Frederick Zoller (Daniel Bruehl)takes an interest in her and insists on screening an illustrious movie at the theatre she now runs. Knowledge of the German officers being at the event reaches the "Basterds", who are a group of Jewish-American guerilla soldiers led by Lt Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt). The paths of the relentless executioners and the conspiring young girl cross to shake the history that everyone knows on that fateful evening.
It was quite an enjoyable movie even though there was quite a bit of blood and gore (although I don't actually mind a bit of blood and gore. I loved the way that such a horrible subject, the Nazis was handled with humour. I would reccomend that you see this movie.
A young Jewish refugee, Shosanna Dreyfus (Melanie Laurent), in Nazi occupied France, witnesses the slaughter of her family by the German officer Hans Landa (Cristoph Waltz). She manages to escape but plots her revenge. A few years later the war hero Frederick Zoller (Daniel Bruehl)takes an interest in her and insists on screening an illustrious movie at the theatre she now runs. Knowledge of the German officers being at the event reaches the "Basterds", who are a group of Jewish-American guerilla soldiers led by Lt Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt). The paths of the relentless executioners and the conspiring young girl cross to shake the history that everyone knows on that fateful evening.
It was quite an enjoyable movie even though there was quite a bit of blood and gore (although I don't actually mind a bit of blood and gore. I loved the way that such a horrible subject, the Nazis was handled with humour. I would reccomend that you see this movie.
Friday, 18 March 2011
Food on Fridays.
PORK STROGANOFF
Serves 4
750 g Pork shoulder
2 tablespoons butter
3 onions sliced
Salt and pepper
1 cup beef stock
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 cup sour cream
2 teaspoons soy sauce
Cut pork into strips. Melt butter and quickly brown pork all over. Add onions, salt and pepper and cook until browned. Stir in beef stock and tomato paste. Cover with a tight fitting lid and cook gently until tender, about 25 minutes.
Stir in sour cream and soy sauce and reheat gently. Serve with rice and crusty bread.
Serves 4
750 g Pork shoulder
2 tablespoons butter
3 onions sliced
Salt and pepper
1 cup beef stock
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 cup sour cream
2 teaspoons soy sauce
Cut pork into strips. Melt butter and quickly brown pork all over. Add onions, salt and pepper and cook until browned. Stir in beef stock and tomato paste. Cover with a tight fitting lid and cook gently until tender, about 25 minutes.
Stir in sour cream and soy sauce and reheat gently. Serve with rice and crusty bread.
Monday, 14 March 2011
Monday Movies
TOMORROW WHEN THE WAR BEGAN
A group of seven teenage friends from a small Australian country town go on a camping trip into the bush to get away from civilisation. While they are away they see military aircraft flying overhead but think nothing of it. When they get back to their homes they discover that Australia has been invaded by another country. The teenagers then decide, despite their lack of training, to band together to fight the enemy and defend their country.
This was a good movie and it was great to see some great Australian talent. However I am a reader and I have read this book and the rest in the series, and I believe that some of the changes didn't really add anything to the movie. But I would recomend that you see it.
A group of seven teenage friends from a small Australian country town go on a camping trip into the bush to get away from civilisation. While they are away they see military aircraft flying overhead but think nothing of it. When they get back to their homes they discover that Australia has been invaded by another country. The teenagers then decide, despite their lack of training, to band together to fight the enemy and defend their country.
This was a good movie and it was great to see some great Australian talent. However I am a reader and I have read this book and the rest in the series, and I believe that some of the changes didn't really add anything to the movie. But I would recomend that you see it.
Friday, 11 March 2011
Food on Friday.
PAD THAI
Serves 2-3
250 g dried rice noodles
1/4 cup fish sauce
1/4 cup sweet chilli sauce
2 teaspoons peanut butter
3 tablespoons safflower oil
1 tablespoon tamar10ind sauce (optional)
3 garlic cloves crushed
1-2 red chillies seeded and finely chopped
1 chicken breast fillet finely sliced
10-12 green prawns peeled tails left in tact
2 eggs lightly beaten
2 spring onions finely sliced
100 g bean sprouts
1/2 cup coriander chopped
1/2 cup chopped peanuts
lime wedges to serve
extra sweet chilli sauce to serve
Place the noodles into a large heatproof bowl, cover with boiling water and soak for 10 minutes. Combine fish sauce, sweet chilli sauce and peanut butter; set aside.
Heat the oil in a large wok, and add the tamarind sauce if using. Stir fry the garlic, chillies, chicken and prawns over high heat for about 3 minutes until cooked through. Add the eggs and stir fry until just set and kind of scrambled.
Add the noodles and sauce mixture to the wok, and stir fry for 1 minute until well combined. Toss through most of the spring onions, bean sprouts, coriander and peanuts reserving some for garnish.
Serve topped with the reserved ingredients, with lime wedges and extra sweet chilli sauce on the side.
Serves 2-3
250 g dried rice noodles
1/4 cup fish sauce
1/4 cup sweet chilli sauce
2 teaspoons peanut butter
3 tablespoons safflower oil
1 tablespoon tamar10ind sauce (optional)
3 garlic cloves crushed
1-2 red chillies seeded and finely chopped
1 chicken breast fillet finely sliced
10-12 green prawns peeled tails left in tact
2 eggs lightly beaten
2 spring onions finely sliced
100 g bean sprouts
1/2 cup coriander chopped
1/2 cup chopped peanuts
lime wedges to serve
extra sweet chilli sauce to serve
Place the noodles into a large heatproof bowl, cover with boiling water and soak for 10 minutes. Combine fish sauce, sweet chilli sauce and peanut butter; set aside.
Heat the oil in a large wok, and add the tamarind sauce if using. Stir fry the garlic, chillies, chicken and prawns over high heat for about 3 minutes until cooked through. Add the eggs and stir fry until just set and kind of scrambled.
Add the noodles and sauce mixture to the wok, and stir fry for 1 minute until well combined. Toss through most of the spring onions, bean sprouts, coriander and peanuts reserving some for garnish.
Serve topped with the reserved ingredients, with lime wedges and extra sweet chilli sauce on the side.
Monday, 7 March 2011
Monday Movies.
INCEPTION
Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) is skilled at extraction, or the art of stealing secrets from the subconscious through dreams. He is so well known as a master of extraction that he is coveted in the world of corporate espionage, and for this reason he is a fugitive. Cobb is given the opportunity of redemption if he can pull off the impossible - inception, or the planting of idea into someone's subconcious. He pulls together a team specialists to take the task. However at every move they are thwarted by an enemy that seems to predict their every move.
I found this a really interesting movie, a lot of mind blowing concepts. I thoroughly enjoyed it though. I especially enjoyed the substory about Dom and his wife. It was a little hard to follow what was going on all the time but that added to the interest. I would reccomend that you see it.
Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) is skilled at extraction, or the art of stealing secrets from the subconscious through dreams. He is so well known as a master of extraction that he is coveted in the world of corporate espionage, and for this reason he is a fugitive. Cobb is given the opportunity of redemption if he can pull off the impossible - inception, or the planting of idea into someone's subconcious. He pulls together a team specialists to take the task. However at every move they are thwarted by an enemy that seems to predict their every move.
I found this a really interesting movie, a lot of mind blowing concepts. I thoroughly enjoyed it though. I especially enjoyed the substory about Dom and his wife. It was a little hard to follow what was going on all the time but that added to the interest. I would reccomend that you see it.
Friday, 4 March 2011
ABC TV Recording.
Yesterday I went to the ABC for the recording of Jennifer Byrne Presents...Fantasy and First Tuesday Book Club. It was a really interesting experience. It was cool to see how television programs are recorded.
There was a bit of a techinical difficulty before the first program so it started late. But it was fun to here all the conversations between the panellists in the programs while they were waiting. It was a really enjoyable day.
There was a bit of a techinical difficulty before the first program so it started late. But it was fun to here all the conversations between the panellists in the programs while they were waiting. It was a really enjoyable day.
Food on Friday.
MUSTARD BAKED CHICKEN
Serves 4
4 large of 8 small chicken pieces
4 tbsp butter, melted
4 tbsp mild mustard
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp brown sugar
1 tsp paprika
3 tbsp poppy seeds
400 g dried pasta shells
1 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper
1. Arrange all the chicken pieces in a single layer in a large ovenproof dish.
2. Mix the butter, mustard, lemon juice, sugar and paprika together in a large bowl and season to taste with salt and pepper. Brush the mixture over the upper surfaces of the chicken pieces and bake in a pre-heated oven at 200C for about 15 minutes.
3.Remove the dish from the oven and carefully turn the chicken pieces over with tongs. Coat the upper surfaces of the chicken with the remaining mustard mixture, then sprinkle the chicken pieces with poppy seeds. Return to the oven for a further 15 minutes.
4. Meanwhile, bring a large pan of lightly salted water to the boil over a medium heat. Add the pasta shells and oil and cook for about 8-10 minutes, or until tender, but still firm to the bite.
5. Drain the pasta thoroughly and transfer to 4 warmed serving plates. Top the pasta with 1or 2 of the chicken pieces, pour over the sauce and serve immediately.
Serves 4
4 large of 8 small chicken pieces
4 tbsp butter, melted
4 tbsp mild mustard
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp brown sugar
1 tsp paprika
3 tbsp poppy seeds
400 g dried pasta shells
1 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper
1. Arrange all the chicken pieces in a single layer in a large ovenproof dish.
2. Mix the butter, mustard, lemon juice, sugar and paprika together in a large bowl and season to taste with salt and pepper. Brush the mixture over the upper surfaces of the chicken pieces and bake in a pre-heated oven at 200C for about 15 minutes.
3.Remove the dish from the oven and carefully turn the chicken pieces over with tongs. Coat the upper surfaces of the chicken with the remaining mustard mixture, then sprinkle the chicken pieces with poppy seeds. Return to the oven for a further 15 minutes.
4. Meanwhile, bring a large pan of lightly salted water to the boil over a medium heat. Add the pasta shells and oil and cook for about 8-10 minutes, or until tender, but still firm to the bite.
5. Drain the pasta thoroughly and transfer to 4 warmed serving plates. Top the pasta with 1or 2 of the chicken pieces, pour over the sauce and serve immediately.
Tuesday, 1 March 2011
A bit of Australian Sarcasm!
My mum found these when she was looking for information on sarcasm for her students and I just had to share:
These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian
Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from fellow Aussies.
1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it
rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
watching them die.
2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the
railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...
4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of
places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send
me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: And your last slave died of........?
7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Australia?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent
south of Europe.Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the
pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every
Tuesday
night
in Kings Cross. Come naked.
8. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.
9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
>night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
11. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of
youth.Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
14. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female >
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy).
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
15. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all
year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can
dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make
good pets.
19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I
forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop
out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You
can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you
go out walking.
21. Q: I was in Australia in 1966 on R+R, and I want to contact the
girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
22. Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)>
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian
Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from fellow Aussies.
1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it
rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
watching them die.
2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the
railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...
4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of
places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send
me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: And your last slave died of........?
7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Australia?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent
south of Europe.Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the
pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every
Tuesday
night
in Kings Cross. Come naked.
8. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.
9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
>night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
11. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of
youth.Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
14. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female >
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy).
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
15. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all
year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can
dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make
good pets.
19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I
forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop
out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You
can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you
go out walking.
21. Q: I was in Australia in 1966 on R+R, and I want to contact the
girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
22. Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)>
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
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